The Anuses

The Anuses were genetically engineered by Huko Double Prime to serve as a judicial standard for our review section. The Anuses were conceived to fulfill new regulations in the current edition of the Elimination Dept. Employee Manual, "The Blue Balls Guide To The Elimination Dept."

In the chapter, "Get The Word Out" it was decried that there should be a standard review scale that would be easy to quote by the media. Although the website wasn't done in time, a review of 10 anuses was given to "Constantine" and submitted to the film company simply to get in the television commercials alongside names like Roger Ebert. The score was handed down by Eliminator on the fly after Dark Shadow pointed out that a star-shaped figure in the Elimination Dept. text logo (on the top of this page) resembled an anus.

Although this effort failed and Elimination Dept. was not mentioned in television advertisements for "Constantine," some thought was put into the review system by Eliminator and Manzoku. A "Supreme Court" of reviews was decided upon. Huko Double Prime was called in to genetically engineer ten anuses to serve on this review committee to attach their numeric review standards to most of the reviews posted on the Elimination Dept. website and to create a simple scale by which people could measure how well someone liked or hated a particular movie, piece of music, book, or concert. The scale was 1 to 10 anuses with 1 being bad and 10 being good. The scale would be determined by how many anuses favored a piece of art or literature out of the 10 anuses.

The anuses were born from the cells of a stem cell. Genetically engineered with tiny arms and legs the anuses were also equipped with a tiny brain that would be used to pass impartial judgments on various forms of media.

When not voting “yea” or “nay” to a piece of art or literature, the ten separate members have started taking singing lessons and are known to practice their harmonizing in the hallways of Elimination Dept. Headquarters. They hope to someday be a part of the yet-to-be-named-or-formed Elimination Dept. band.

See also: Elimination Dept. Review Standards

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