Album Reviews
Gwen
Stefani
Love. Angel. Music. Baby.
Interscope Records, 2004
3 anuses out of 10
Review By: Eliminator
On her first solo album the darling Gwen Stefani has decided to release a kaleidoscope of sounds. Most of which revolves around urban music genres. Calling the album an eclectic mix of sounds would really be giving it waaayyy too much praise. Instead of sounding like an album of interesting and eclectic sounds, Stefani sounds like a fanboy trying to fit in with the "in" crowd.
On the album you can hear Stefani trying to sound like everyone from New Order ("The Real Thing") to OutKast ("Bubble Pop Electric") to Salt-N-Pepa ("Crash") to Japanese bubblegum pop acts ("Harajuku Girls"). She doesn't pull off any of these sounds very well at all.
The album starts out strong with "What You Waiting For." A sort of call to arms that Stefani is singing to herself about getting off her ass and making a success of herself. She's already done that already, and the lyrics suck, but it has a powerful beat and really gets you in the mood for a decent pop album. Then the song ends.
Up next is "Rich Girl" featuring Eve. The lyrics go something like this: "If I was a rich girl/Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na/Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na/See, I'd have all the money in the world, if I was a wealthy girl." As you can see, the lyrics are just brilliant. And I think Eve just appeared on the album to return a favor. She tries to do some sort of Reggae thing, then some lame verse, and then it's back to Gwen for the stupid chorus.
Following that is the real kicker, the hot single, "Hollaback Girl." This is another attempt for Stefani to pretend she has some street cred. The song is just plain bad, the lyrics, again, are terrible. The spelling of 'bananas' in the bridge just shows that people don't even try to make good songs any more.
Then there is the song dedicated to Gwen's failed romantic relationship with No Doubt guitarist Tony Kanal, "Cool." Weren't there ten No Doubt songs about their stupid fucking relationship?!? Is there a need for another one?
Once you get to track 7, "Harajuku Girls" you've just about had enough. Until you get to hear about the fabulous Harajuku Girls! They first get shouted out on "Rich Girls" when Stefani sings: "I'd get me four Harajuku girls to (uh huh)/Inspire me and/they'd come to my rescue /I'd dress them wicked, I'd give them names (yeah)"
That's exactly what she did. These four girls she hired have drawn all kinds of criticism from the Asian community. It has been rumored they were born in the States and speak fluent English but are contractually obligated to only speak Japanese in public. Stefani credits them as her muses on the "Harajuku Girls" song. If they are the true inspiration for this album these four broads should be hung, drawn, and quartered!
If you manage to get beyond that you will hear "Crash" which is a rip-off of Salt-N-Pepa's "Push It."
Next is a track produced by New Order. I think the guys from New Order just gave over a thrown-out b-side beat. It seems to me like they had no interest in tailor-fitting a musical backdrop for Gwen at all and just gave her whatever they had left over from their latest album.
The bottom line is: The album is pretty bad. The beats are just okay on a few songs. The lyrics are terrible, and most of the lyrics sound like bad recreations of songs that already have been recorded by acts with much more talent. If Gwen Stefani is to be the next Madonna (I think I heard this comparison somewhere; probably an MTV News expose) she's got a long way to go. Madonna, like her or not, has some legitimate talent. As do the musicians and producers she chooses to work with. Stefani has some big, talented people working with her (Eve, Dr. Dre, Pharell Williams, Andre 3000, Dallas Austin, New Order) but Stefani herself just hasn't quite got the talent to do anything with what they offered.
Unless you are a teenage girl or a 30-year old trying to pick up on teenage girls you'll have no interest in this album. Do yourself a favor, stay away!
The Anuses--when reviewing the
review and issuing the numeric score--wanted to make sure that I clarify
that the 3 anuses are for the few tolerable beats that are on the album.
The lyrics received zero anuses.
Track Listing:
1. What You Waiting For
2. Rich Girl (featuring Eve)
3. Hollaback Girl
4. Cool
5. Bubble Pop Electric (featuring Johnny Vulture [Andre 3000])
6. Luxurious
7. Harajuku Girls
8. Crash
9. The Real Thing
10. Serious
11. Danger Zone
12. Long Way To Go
©2010 The Elimination Dept.
