Don't Be A Fucking Idiot!

Welcome To Common Sense!

July 1, 2005

Written By: Eliminator

Welcome to the new section of EliminationDept.com, "Don't Be A Fucking Idiot." This is a slogan that should be put on t-shirts; it should be all over TV. People just need to be told, straight out with no bullshit, "Don't Be A Fucking Idiot."

How many times have you been in traffic, at the mall, or just out and about and have just wanted to punch someone in the face?

This section is for you. Elimination Dept. staff members will share their horror stories about dealing with the stupidity of the public. Or they will write about the stupidity these see on TV. Or if they just feel like writing in saying, "This fucking guy that looks like Weezer was driving like a fuckstick; I'd like to run him off the road." Then they can write that too...

Common Sense

It is almost cliché to say that common sense is dead. But fuck it, I'm saying again. Right here on this website. Mainly in hopes that the typical internet dimwit, we'll use the popular example of Preacher's internet pal, Billy G. Say Billy G. is surfing the web looking for the latest Paris Hilton tittie-poppin' picture. He comes across EliminationDept.com somehow. Maybe the search term tittie-popping hoebag came up in a recent article or something, he sees the "D.B.A.F.I." link on the left and thinks to himself, "Hey! Is that a new rap group?!" clicks on it, and sees the common sense articles.

He then reads an article about the kind of idiots who live for the latest Paris Hilton tittie-poppin' picture. He feels bad about it, because he's one of those guys. Maybe he even changes his behavior. Although, I doubt that last one, at least he may feel stupid long enough to lose his erection and stop surfing the internet for Paris Hilton pictures. Maybe he actually decides to read a book recommended by one of the Elimination Dept. staff members. Maybe not. But in the end, it has some effect. Even if the effect is small.

It's Dead

Back to the death of common sense. I've recently stopped blaming the government as much for over-regulation as much as the mass of stupid people out there. Think of it this way: Every stupid parking ordinance, every smoking ordinance, every tavern that is forced to go out of business, every law dictating what you can do to your property: These are laws people wanted. Somewhere along the line some fuckwad decided the neighbor's fence was too high or just ugly and complained about it. Some snooty yuppie decided he didn't like seeing Moe's Tavern on the corner of his street and sent around a petition to his neighbors to shut it down.

Of course the government isn't going to look at a bunch of people saying, "Regulate us more! Here, have more power" and say, "No, I couldn't." In fact, sometimes I just can't blame the government for some of the wrongs in this country at all. Who can blame them for taking the power that people give them? After September 11th people were crying up and down we needed more security at airports and government buildings, even though it could be argued more security would do little to prevent terrorism. The government didn't step in on the Janet Jackson incident until a bunch of soccer moms and religious zealots started complaining to the FCC.

We got where we are in this country because a lot of people are just fucking dumbasses. The government is as powerful as it is because the people wanted it to be.

So, in some respects, the problem doesn't lie with cleaning up the government, but with cleaning up the people. Something needs to be done to curb the "stupid" epidemic in this country if we want real change. Hopefully, through the articles provided by the Elimination Dept. staff in this new section, some concrete ideas on how to raise awareness can be realized. Eventually I hope to have enough works in here to create the "Common Sense Manifesto," so that we can publish it in hardcover and beat stupid people in the head with copies of the book.

If anything I hope to stop the high sales of Gwen Stefani's solo album. Help me in my quest!

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